Wow. What a downer post. But it's only day 1. There are bound to be good things coming right? Ok... so one thing I hate about myself:
I am moody. Like... incredibly moody. I snap at my husband for no reason at all, or my mother, or whoever happens to be the one calling me. I feel just fine and then I open my mouth and anger spews from it. Then he asks me what's wrong and I get defensive, saying "Nothing." He keeps questioning me because obviously from his perspective something is wrong.
Maybe I need a sign that I can walk around with that says "Caution: Moody". I've been moody as long as I can remember. And it's no where near what it was in my angsty teen years. Then, doctors chalked it up to depression. But I don't feel like that's the real problem now.
But, yes, sometimes now I feel bad about myself because almost all my friends my age that I went to ISU with have their B.A.'s and I kinda messed up, picked a new program, and chose a new path. And yes, I feel guilty not working and contributing to the running of my home financially. And yes, sometimes I feel bad that I don't clean the house as much as I could. But depressed, no? I am not crying on a daily basis like I have before or am perpetually angry.
It's just sometimes, when I'm in the middle of writing and my husband asks me a question like "Where's the peanut butter?" I get frustrated. Because, well, I don't know. I'd have to get up and look. But in reality, it just goes faster if he asks me and I go get it. Because he can't find anything. And that's a fact.
So, I'm not depressed, I don't feel like I have anger issues... I just get frustrated easily these days. My patience is a little thin. There are so many things I could be doing. But instead, I'm still jumping through hoops. I'm hoping when the jumping is over, the moodiness will subside as well.
I could have written this post. I am sooooo moody. Just ask my mom (she'll probably comment on here. Haha.). And my husband doesn't know where anything is in my house. I've had depression before and for some reason, after having Win, I feel tons better. I don't know if something got changed in my brain chemistry or what, but I don't feel as moody and just...perpetually unhappy...as I once did. Maybe because I am in the place of life I always wanted to be. Maybe once you're doing what you love (out of school and into a job you love), you'll feel better. The 20s are such a transitional time period. It's hard to NOT be moody.
ReplyDeleteHi Krystin...I just found you on my followers list so I popped over to meet you. As I was reading your post I was wishing you were here so I could tell you what might be the issue. This is strictly about myself and how I dealt with it but I had severe PMS. It lasted 25 days a month and then every day. When I couldn't stand it my doctor suggested Zoloft. My first thought was wtf, I'm not depressed. But what I didn't even think about was that it could be PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder) because I'd never heard of it. Anyway Zoloft made me like a new woman. No side affects, no feeling drugged, nothing. So if it continues for you and you don't like feeling moody maybe check it out. I'm glad I did. Anyway, I look forwrd to the rest of your 30 days. It makes you honest if anything. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI agree with LeLe. I think once you are out of school, and don't have that pressure, you may feel better. But then, there are folks who are just that way. Your loved ones will still love you, even if they raise their eyebrows once in a while wondering, "What did I say?" Ha!!!
ReplyDelete:-) Thanks guys for all the love! I can't wait to be done with school and working. Also, I know the changes in weather throw me for a bit of a loop. Maybe I'll try tanning again this winter. It helped some last winter. The lack of sun really gets to me...
ReplyDeleteAnd as for PMS, Barb... it could be!