Day 1: Something I hate about myself

Wow. What a downer post. But it's only day 1. There are bound to be good things coming right? Ok... so one thing I hate about myself:

I am moody. Like... incredibly moody. I snap at my husband for no reason at all, or my mother, or whoever happens to be the one calling me. I feel just fine and then I open my mouth and anger spews from it. Then he asks me what's wrong and I get defensive, saying "Nothing." He keeps questioning me because obviously from his perspective something is wrong.

Maybe I need a sign that I can walk around with that says "Caution: Moody". I've been moody as long as I can remember. And it's no where near what it was in my angsty teen years. Then, doctors chalked it up to depression. But I don't feel like that's the real problem now.

But, yes, sometimes now I feel bad about myself because almost all my friends my age that I went to ISU with have their B.A.'s and I kinda messed up, picked a new program, and chose a new path. And yes, I feel guilty not working and contributing to the running of my home financially. And yes, sometimes I feel bad that I don't clean the house as much as I could. But depressed, no? I am not crying on a daily basis like I have before or am perpetually angry.

It's just sometimes, when I'm in the middle of writing and my husband asks me a question like "Where's the peanut butter?" I get frustrated. Because, well, I don't know. I'd have to get up and look. But in reality, it just goes faster if he asks me and I go get it. Because he can't find anything. And that's a fact.

So, I'm not depressed, I don't feel like I have anger issues... I just get frustrated easily these days. My patience is a little thin. There are so many things I could be doing. But instead, I'm still jumping through hoops. I'm hoping when the jumping is over, the moodiness will subside as well.